Civil Discourse Now

Where the far left and far right overlap for fun and enlightenment

Monon Bell game: DePauw needs to kick degenerates' butts

Today DePauw University, my alma mater, plays football against a team from Crawfordsville for the Monon Bell. This is “the oldest rivalry west of the Allegheny Mountains,” but colleges and universities should not play a game that, long-term, leads to brain damage from “CTE”. 1/6

Chronic traumatic encephalopathy: progressive degenerative disease from repeated concussions & traumatic brain injuries. CTE destroys lives of players & their loved ones. College is a time to expand, not destroy, the mind. Maybe we can play ultimate frisbee instead. Meantime? 2/6

Several “positives” about the school in Crawfordsville; e.g., construction industry jobs became more plentiful, especially after enactment of I.C. § 11-8-8, et seq, & how sex offenders can live no closer than X number of feet from grade schools. New grade schools were needed. 3/6

I’m not saying the school in Crawfordsville is chock-full of perverts & other miscreants; close to being chock-full maybe. Then there’s the curriculum. Students, especially those who want to study animal husbandry, flock to the school & immediately paired w/a sheep or goat. 4/6

Before anyone gets indignant, the school issued its diplomas on sheep skin until 2020. Rather bizarre rituals of execution of Ovis Aries thus have ended. Now a graduate has to explain why a sheep has followed him out of school & into the real world. Life becomes complex. 5/6

All kidding aside, I wish both sides a safe game. As a DePauw alum, my part wasn’t easy. For a decent voodoo curse you need... Never mind. I’ll just say that if you see a Wabash player clutch his side as if someone shoved a needle there, a doll has been pricked in Broad Ripple. 6/6

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