New board games are rare, since possible elements are limited: roll dice, spin wheels, turn cards, move spaces, etc., to end up “home” or whatever the spot of victory is called. Only a mastermind of failure could unwittingly manifest “opposites” to create ... 1/11

the best, brilliant most fantastic, stupendous, exhilarating, challenging, fulfilling, mighty, tough, profound, rewarding, taxing, deep, extreme, intricate, perplexing, gruxlike, idyllic, mean, deific, glorious, rendering others speechless & regretting they never had a thesaurus. It’s: 2/11

“TECHNICALLY THAT’S NOT TREASON!” Your opponent has the most powerful military in history. Your materiel is aging/in decay & your personnel are chronically alcoholic from centuries of despotic rule w/your two decades of tyranny topping it off like a cherry. 3/11

You shoot the player next to you! [FN1] In an accordion file next to his chair: kompromat against a sociopathic “media personality,” [FN2] her/his children, & half the members of her/his country’s bicameral legislation. Your turn to spin the Arrow of Fate! Congrats! 4/11

The kompromat includes snuff films starring the sociopath as well as smut of his adult children [FN3] in various weird, sexual positions on your desk! Oh no! Elections are about to be held! Oops ... for them! You’ve just drawn a card from the Dick of Justice! [FN4] 5/11

Wouldn’t you know it! You now hold leases on 5 + a bill of sale of one more of the 9 justices of the highest court in his country! Stop! Your opponent gets to draw from the Dick of Justice! And what’s this!? It’s the dreaded ED card & that challenge is flacid! We’re almost there! 6/11

You hacked election computers & stacked the Court, but your candidate still comes up short in the popular vote. You spin the Arrow of Fate and .... the media are yours! Your sociopath takes the oath of office while his enemies still could have stopped you! Your aging, 7/11

alcoholic army marches into your sociopath’s capital. Someone yells: “this is treason!” But your Court has the final say. Now down to 6 members, it rules there’s complete immunity for anyone doing anything therefore: TECHNICALLY THAT’S NOT TREASON! [FN5] [FN6] 8/11

Footnotes:
FN1. Game boards come w/ a) guarantee of being blood-resistant; b) 714 pages of disclaimers that mean we never pay out; and c) clause to arbitrate, but you must appear, in person, for any arbitration in St Petersburg (the one that ain’t in Florida). 9/11

Footnotes:
FN2. This is superficially a work of fiction. Reference to any living persons or business entities is purely coincidental. [Follow Cassie Jackson on Facebook!]
FN3. Each of the adult children is over 18 years of age.
FN4. That’s not a typo. Cards from the Dick of Justice are shaped like a penis. 10/11

Footnotes:
FN5. Who says people can’t have fun as we slide toward the Apocalypse!
FN6. Game is meant for adults. The “Jeffrey Epstein” version is for all ages. 11/11