Civil Discourse Now

Where the far left and far right overlap for fun and enlightenment

$ideline$: novel by tweets & a coach takes power

Umtell: a cheat, bully, coward, spoiled as hell, not the sharpest knife (or spoon) in the drawer but felt entitled to > everything; i.e., a classic American “businessman.” He grabbed & guzzled his 3rd (by my count) bottle of single malt. His BAC had to be fast approaching his IQ. 1/10

Things moved fast. A woman (had to be Debi), early 20s, entered. The leather of a satchel in her hand matched her bodice (w/plunging neckline) and boots. Umtell grabbed the satchel and tossed it to me. “Here’s the first installment of your pay,” he slurred. Inside was a lot of cash. 2/10

Debi was followed by Everett (his first name or last? No clue), a caricature of a lawyer in his late 50s. Neat gray hair, gray suit w/lighter gray pin-stripes, gray silk tie of pattern & shade of gray slightly different from his pocket handkerchief. He shoved a document at me. 3/10

“Standard coaches’ contract,” Everett said as I scanned the several pages. We all heard a groan & saw Umtell pass out & fall from his chair. I went back to the contract & saw onerous clauses that gave Umtell near-absolute power. With a ballpoint pen, I shifted that power to me. 4/10

Everett read my changes. “He’ll never agree ...” I cut him off: “He already did. He signed it & U drafted most of it, so its terms are construed strictly against him..” Debi snatched the document fr Everett & returned w/photocopies. Everett muttered a transitive verb & left. 5/10

Debi’s expression was odd. “It’s almost 5. You should go to the team complex.” “I need a place to live,” I objected. She smiled: “Your office has an apartment. A team van’s at your disposal.” The bartender congratulated me. Umtell was passed out on the floor. 6/10

In the team van on the way to the complex, The van driver chuckled, under his mask, & said he’d heard Umtell hired a total moron 4 head coach. I turned to Debi & asked “What’s w/the bodice?” Debi seemed disgusted: “The team’s ‘dress code’ 4 female employees.” 7/10

Debi seemed to brighten as I shook my head & said “That sucks.” She took another look at me & said “We were going to quit, but I’ll talk to the others. You’re going to need our help.” I thanked her but didn’t ask who “we” was. The ride fr club 2 team complex was only a cpl of miles. 8/10

The driver realized I was the head coach a/k/a total moron as he opened a door 4 me in front of a building high enough for punts inside. To Debi: “I can sense I have a lot to do yet today.” Debi: “First is you fire the team president. He occupies your apartment.” 9/10

c. 2021 by mark small. This is a work of fiction. Seriously. Any similarities between people living or dead is possible, but so is everything in a quantum universe. Besides, it’s fiction. I don’t kid about such things. 10/10

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