Civil Discourse Now

Where the far left and far right overlap for fun and enlightenment

"$ideline$: 1st press conference & a catatonic lineman

6 Hair a bit wet from the shower & the garb seemed odd. The now-former franchise Prez (oddly) left a tux in 41-regular w/cumberbund festooned w/flamingoes & penguins in a weird trop-arctic environment, but neither is a predator of the other so maybe it’s cool.

Drawback 2 bagging classes in undergrad? Impact to GPA. Advantage? Slackers watch > tube & ∴> press conferences. This room was full & hot & the podium held a dozen mics w/a few more hanging from rods. Too bad there’s no “panda” in pandemonium. 2/10

(Imperious) me: “This will be short. There will be changes in this franchise. One: tickets for all pre-season games are free, but can’t be scalped. Who cares about pre-season games? Two: beer will continue to be sold after the 7th inning, or 3rd quarter, whichever is first.” 3/10

“Three: physics. We shall minimize impact as we maximize effect of energy thus we shall end contracts of all players now on the roster & w/in 3 days announce our a new roster. Finally: we need a place kicker. That is all.” 4/10

Questions? Shouted & ignored. Back in the office, Debra: “What about corporations & $ they pd for blocks of choice seats?” Me: “Taxpayers paid more. Screw corporations.” Debi memorized notes in fewer seconds than they were scribbled & handed to her. 5/10

Debbie: “I watched that show & speak Mandarin.” Deborah grabbed the sheet: “The martial arts form is Aikido. I know a master in it.” The phone chirped (or rang or some damn thing).Debi: picked up, listened, then: “It’s the owner.” I said “Tell to read the contract.” 6/10

She dealt w/Umtell. Me: “We’re in the league’s worst division. I figure we need 5 division wins 2 make the playoffs.” They stared @ me so I altered our conversation’s path. “What’s the deal with that big dude in the waiting area?” 7/10

Debbie: “Umtell found him in a Houston bar. He’s catatonic.” Me: “Umtell?.” Debbie: “No, big dude’s catatonic.” Me: “Get him in here. Work on my notes. By Saturday we need a full roster. Oh, and 1 > thing.” They looked at me expectantly. 8/10

“If we’re gonna win this whole damn thing: we play it right but still need to review stars who ended up prisons who before they had a shot at the big time.” They stared @ me then started to move. This was more fun than I’d imagined tho the presser left tensions high.. 9/10

Debby: “He’s here.” A huge form filled the doorway and tensions were high after the presser. But even in this work of fiction, the fictional characters have stopped returning my calls. c. 2021 by mark small. 10/10

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