Maybe IN Lt Gov Micah Beckwith surfed for porn as he presided over the IN Senate on 1/6/26. Several months have passed since Beckwith’s co-pastor [FN1] & podcast co-host [FN2] ‘fessed up to having sex w/his wife on video found on their son’s cellphone. [FN3] 1/12

Boredom w/reruns is natural (or au naturel) after so many times. Research is out there. Jimmy Swaggert preached about the hazards of choking one’s chicken [FN4] & his acts of self-sacrifice [FN5] in field research in Metairie, LA, “near a strip of seedy motels.” [FN6] 2/12

Expertise for Beckwith is close at hand. The Assemblies of God, w/which Beckwith’s church is affiliated, also was Swaggert’s home. [FN7] That group dropped Swaggert when Swaggert’s field research got out of hand. A more throbbing problem: 3/12

On 1/6/26, at the same time Beckwith thumbed so furiously in IN’s Senate, two pastors of his Life Church resigned. [FN8] IN’s ghost employment statute applies to Beckwith [FN9] who, unlike the Framers of the Constitution, believes the USA is “Christian.” [FN10] 4/12

This is an easy puppy to investigate because Beckwith used his cell phone at a specific time & can be tracked. Beckwith possibly double dipped: engaged in ghost employment simultaneously w/a church from the IN Senate chamber. IN Senators should be careful. 5/12

“God” does not like it when some people masturbate, [FN11] as Onan learned. [FN12] Not only might they be struck down if they stand too close to Beckwith after, finally, Beckwith’s gone too far. They should tell IN’s Lt Gov to wash up before anyone shakes his hand. 6/12

Footnotes:
FN1. LoBianco, Nathan Peternel is co-pastor w/IN Lt Gov Beckwith at Life Church, with several locations in central Indiana. LoBiancho, “Peternel says son hacked sex videos of him and wife while high,” 24Sight News, 12/7/25, accessed 1/8/26. 7/12

FN2. “Jesus, Sex and Politics,” is that whacky, goofy podcast on which sex & other things are discussed. Id.
FN3. Id.
FN4. Or thumping one’s turkey, smoothing one’s snake, or “spanking the monkey," "beating your meat," "wanking," "shaking hands with Dr. Winky." 8/12

FN5. Or self-abuse, "debugging the hard drive," “the five-finger shuffle," “auditioning the hand puppet,” "waxing your carrot," "burping the worm," "beef strokenoff,.
FN6. “Prostitute says Swaggart 'kinky and cheap too,'” UPI, 5/25/88, accessed 1/8/26.
FN7. Id.
FN8. LoBianco,”Pastors resign from Life Church,” 24sight News, 1/7/236, accessed 1/8/26. 9/12

FN9. “A state officer [] shall not engage in, or direct others to engage in, work other than the performance of official duties during working hours, except as permitted by general written agency, departmental or institutional policy or regulation.” I.C. §42-1-5-13. 10/12

FN10. “Beckwith’s Christian nationalism ...” IndyStar, 7/11/24; see also Garrett, “America’s founders would have abhorred Micah Bekwith’s Christian nationalism,” AOL 7/11/24. 11/12

FN11. Or "tugging the slug," "battling the purple-headed yogurt slinger," "riding the mayonnaise surf," "playing pocket pinball."
FN12. “...he emitted on the ground, lest he should give an heir to his brother. And the thing which he did displeased the Lord; therefore He killed him also.” Genesis 38: 9-10. 12/12