An unfortunate side effect of having positive moral values w/o critical thinking skills is best illustrated by the reaction many had yesterday to the statement that trump’s current spouse gave from the White House. No one bothered to search for a deeper meaning. 1/6

Fortunately, my Deep State Decoder Ring/Bottle Cap Opener/Roach Clip was close at, but not on my, hand. It had started to glow when the TV switched from the Sumo Mud Wrestling Big Truck Finals to the aforementioned statement. Carefully, I put it on and ... 2/6

The ring sifted through what she’d said. The ring was developed in a Bose/Einstein environment at a billionth of a degree above absolute zero. Apparently, the message was a combination of a book code and an ancient indigenous language. Here are those variables... 3/6

The book: volume 1 of the compressed edition of the OED. The ancient indigenous language: of a people I cannot name because of a curse of some sort. On the first try I was able to sift through the odd series of vowels that popped too frequently. This is the first decoding: 4/6

“Someone help me, please. You cannot imagine how disgusting the old man fart stench is. It twists my face. You don’t really think a plastic surgeon did this. I did not sign up for this. Vlad said I’d get paid & have some laughs. Laughs are over.” 5/6

Then I turned the Deep State Decoder Ring (which also has a skeleton key that works only for the sites of wakes as well as a compass) 10 degrees west and shook it. That changed both the length and the content of what she said, which was: “Drink Ovalti...” Then the ring stopped. 6/6