Paul Ogden has written a blog demeaning the month of Autumn. He told me, yesterday, he was then writing such a piece. I feel compelled to defend what is my, and other people’s, favorite season, although other people (notably members of tribes indigenous to this continent when Europeans arrived) would wonder how anyone could hold as a "favorite" one of the natural phases of our calendar.
First, Mr Ogden mischaracterizes autumn as a season of death, marked by cold, overcast, gloomy days. Au contraire, Monsieur Ogden, many days of fall are sunny and clear, with the crisp chill that makes one feel alive. If one wishes to look at a season of death, look at the spring. Statistically, suicides are higher in spring than any other season. The days of March and April hardly are sunny and fresh. Such days in those months are rare. Rather, March and April are dominated by gray skies temperatures in the 40s, and humidity on the verge of standing water.
Autumn brings football. Football is good, unless one is a Marion County taxpayer (Go Colts®!), a fan of the Cleveland Browns® (sorry, Jeff), or still suffering from post-concussion syndrome as a reminder of the idyllic days of high school when one strapped on that helmet that did little good.
Mr. Ogden, I believe you know I agree with you about most things related to baseball. The playoffs should not occur during snow flurries. The World Series ® should be over by the end of October. Double-headers should be brought back. Therefore, I shall agree with you on that portion of your otherwise ill-chosen diatribe.
You complain about people who praise autumn because the leaves (of the deciduous) trees do not really turn colors. You offer no evidence for this assertion. I would further respond by pointing out the leaves once always turned beautiful colors: red, gold, yellow. Unfortunately, since we have had such massive climate change—I know, you believe such environmental realities only imaginary—summers have had less rain and thus the trees are less prone to change colors. So on the one hand you provide no evidence for your position; on the other, if such a phenomenon is extant, those (such as you) who oppose environmental progressives (such as me) are partly to blame.
Next you criticize Hallowe’en. It is not my favorite holiday, either. My favorite holidays are occasions upon which adults imbibe heavily of alcoholic beverages—St. Patrick’s Day, the Fourth of July, any day with an "r" in it, my birthday. If you have such a problem with the children who go door-to-door, hit a bar for the early evening hours. If you are bummed out by the movies, go to the obsolete technology section at Goodwill and buy something called a "VCR." In that way, you can record whatever non-Hallowe’en fare you wish (say, the last game of the playoffs during which the Reds choke).
You speak of autumn as some sort of Gateway to the Snow. Again, these days maybe not so much. Soon we might speak of temps in the 90s in December. In the meantime, I love the changes of season. I love watching snow fall. I might one day keel over from a myocardial infarction as I shovel the driveway, but, in the meantime, I do not mind the cardiovascular workout. Besides, we need the snow. That snow melts and helps to build up the water table our farmers will need for summer, and all those golfers at Crooked Stick will need for nice, pretty greens.
As for watching "my" Reds win the World Series, I think you might want to check into some kind of program. I consider you to be a friend. But I believe that, on this point, you border on the delusional. On the other hand, the Cubs have enough young talent on the roster that NEXT YEAR will be THE YEAR. You betcha! Autumn—my favorite season, with its crisp air and memories of college pre-game parties, will bring the Cubs the World Series.